January 25, 2006
Katie Holmes's Sex Scene Reaches State of Clear
filed under: Sundance Film Festival 2006
Never underestimate the mystical powers of Scientologists. Not only can they cure mental illness with niacin and jumping jacks, they can make Katie Holmes's sex scenes dissipate into thin air.
Last year, when Katie's movie Thank You for Smoking premiered at the Toronto Film Festival, it contained a "raunchy" (a word that always makes us think "crunchy") sex scene between Tom Cruise's spawnvessel Katie and Aaron Eckhart. The movie was shown this week at Sundance, and Abracadabra Kal-El SHAZAM! The scene is gone! Insiders are speculating that Señor Cruise used his weighty pull to disappear the objectionable scene. When asked about the missing footage, Smoking director Jason Reitman said,
"It was a technical glitch … If you want to see a sex scene with Katie Holmes, rent The Gift."
Yeah, that happens all the time. A film is finished, it's cut and edited and prints are made and shipped off to screen at various festivals and then all of a sudden, poof! One scene--conveniently a scene that happens to contain King Cruise's womb fiancée in a compromising position--vanishes forever in a puff of crazy, crazy smoke.
But duh, it makes sense. Did you see that scene? It was positively teeming with thetans! We fully expect, after writing this story, to gaze into our lap later today and discover that the Scientologists have vaporized our gonads. Again.
Katie's at MrSkin.com. Nude! In The Gift! Just like the nice man said!
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